How To Be Happy

I’m often told I will become happy when I’m successful; I will then be happy.

As an NLP Coach and NLP Trainer, I’m often told I will become happy when I’m successful; I will then be happy.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
Albert Schweitzer

Doing research on happiness for my clients I have discovered and learnt:

• Happiness doesn’t come from our genetics, our upbringing, luck or chance;
• Happiness has a lot less to do with circumstances than we think it does;
• Happiness isn’t the result of some big, out-of-reach event or attainment;
• Happiness is created simply I believe by the easy things we do each day;
• I also believe unhappiness is created, by doing the simple easy day things, that we don’t like doing.

So, winning the lottery or buying the latest gadget is not going to make you happy. It might make you feel happy in the short term, however, this will not last long. So, I honestly believe you become happy by doing simple things every day that you enjoy doing.

Whatever we do, happiness should come first. What the research also discovered was that doing things to make you happy, doesn’t just make you happier; the research found that it makes your life work better. Therefore happiness is a secret ingredient to living a more fulfilling life.

In 2006 ZonMw Netherlands showed from the research that people who lived happy lives also had:

• Fewer strokes and heart attacks.
• Complained of less pain and inflammation.
• Were more resistant to viruses and had a greater immune system.
• Obtained a more resilient personality therefore were able to deal with adversity better.
• Developed a better working performance and succeeded professionally.
• Had a more full-filling relationship with people.
• Marriages lasted a lifetime, so a decrease in divorce rates.
• Lead a more active social life.
• Got involved with the community more.
• Had a positive impact on society.
• Had more financial success.
• Lived longer.

This research shows that many people have got it wrong – me years ago if I’m being honest with you all. I used to think this before my NLP days: – most of us have it backwards, as we say: “Once I get married, I will be happy.”; “Once I get the job of my dreams, I will be happy.”; “Once I am healthy, then I will be happy.”; “Once I’m living where I want to live then I will be happy.”; “Once I have all the money I want I will be happy and not stressed.”; “Once I start a family, I will be happy.”; “Once I have become well known, then I will be happy.”; or “Once I have retired, then I will be happy.”

These are the excuses we can tell ourselves for not being happy and as parents, grand-parents etc. These are the excuses you could be communicating with your friends and family. This is an excuse, so stop it! Because happiness will not work that way, in fact, the research says it is the reverse.

So, my tip to you is find something to do each day that makes you happy, whatever that is for you, and spend at least 30 minutes doing it. As I said at the start “Happiness is the key to success.”