From School Bullying to Workplace Bullying:

How Early Trauma Shapes Adult Experience; and How Therapy Can Help

If you were bullied at school and now find yourself struggling at work — with confidence, anxiety, or feeling powerless around certain people; you are not imagining things, and you are not “overreacting.”

For many adults, workplace bullying is not a new experience.
It is a continuation of something much older.

As a therapist, I often work with clients who say:

“I don’t understand why this affects me so deeply.”
“I feel like a child again around my manager.”
“This keeps happening to me wherever I work.”

I am exploring why bullying can follow us from school into adulthood, how it affects both victims and bullies, and how NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy can help you break the cycle; safely and effectively.

Bullying Doesn’t End at School; It Changes Shape

At school, bullying is often visible:

• teasing
• exclusion
• name-calling
• intimidation

In the workplace, bullying is usually more subtle:

• constant criticism
• being spoken down to
• unrealistic expectations
• micromanagement
• exclusion from meetings
• fear-based management

For someone who was bullied earlier in life, these situations can feel deeply familiar, even when they can’t immediately explain why.

This is because bullying leaves emotional imprints, not just memories.

What School Bullying Does to a Child’s Nervous System

When a child is bullied, their nervous system learns:

• “I am not safe.”
• “I don’t belong.”
• “Speaking up is dangerous.”
• “I must endure this.”

These are not conscious choices. They are survival responses.

If those responses are never processed or resolved, they don’t disappear with age; they go underground.

Why Workplace Bullying Can Feel Overwhelming

Adults who are bullied at work often tell me:

• “I freeze in meetings.”
• “I panic before emails.”
• “I can’t speak up, even when I know I’m right.”
• “I feel small and powerless.”

This is not a weakness.
It is the nervous system responding to a perceived threat that feels familiar.

Workplaces recreate many of the same conditions as school:

• authority figures
• evaluation
• rules
• fear of punishment or rejection

When early bullying has not been healed, the body reacts as if the original danger is happening again.

Why the Same Pattern Keeps Repeating

Many clients ask:

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

From a therapeutic perspective, this often happens because:

• the body expects familiar dynamics
• early beliefs about authority remain unchallenged
• boundaries were never learned safely
• self-worth was shaped by shame

Bullies,  often unconsciously, sense who is less likely to challenge them.

This is not your fault.
It is a learned pattern, and learned patterns can change.

When the School Bully Becomes the Workplace Bully

Some adults who bully others were bullied themselves.

As children, they may have learned:

• “Power keeps me safe.”
• “If I control others, I won’t be hurt.”
• “Vulnerability is dangerous.”

In adulthood, this can show up as:

• controlling management styles
• intimidation
• lack of empathy
• emotional reactivity

Understanding this does not excuse bullying, but it helps explain why punishment alone rarely creates change.

Therapy can help address what sits underneath the behaviour.

Why Talk Alone Is Often Not Enough

Many people who have experienced bullying already understand what happened to them.

They know:

• It wasn’t right
• It still affects them
• They want to respond differently

But insight alone does not calm a nervous system that learned to survive through fear.

This is where NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy can be particularly effective.

How NLP Helps with Bullying and Confidence

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) works with how your mind:

• processes experiences
• creates emotional responses
• forms beliefs about who you are

In therapy, NLP can help you:

• change the internal voice shaped by bullying
• reduce emotional reactions to authority figures
• access calm confidence when you need it
• develop clear, healthy boundaries

Clients often notice change quite quickly because NLP works with how the brain actually functions.

How Clinical Hypnotherapy Heals the Emotional Impact of Bullying

Clinical Hypnotherapy works at the subconscious level, where bullying experiences are often stored emotionally rather than logically.

Hypnotherapy can help you:

• safely process past bullying
• release stored fear, shame, or anger
• stop your body reacting as if the past is still happening
• rebuild a sense of safety and self-trust

Many clients describe this as finally feeling:

“Free from something I didn’t realise I was still carrying.”

Working with Adults Who Feel Bullied at Work

Therapy is not about making you “tougher” or more aggressive.

It is about helping you:

• feel grounded rather than reactive
• trust your perceptions
• speak up without panic
• recognise when something is not acceptable
• feel like an adult in adult situations

This creates real change, internally and externally.

Can Therapy Help Someone Who Bullies Others?

Yes, when there is willingness.

Therapy can help people who bully:

• understand what drives their behaviour
• regulate emotions safely
• let go of fear-based control
• develop healthier leadership and relationships

Change is possible when shame is replaced with understanding and accountability.

You Don’t Have to Keep Reliving the Past

If you were bullied at school and are now struggling in the workplace, there is nothing wrong with you.

Your nervous system learned how to survive.
Now it may be time to learn something new.

NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy offer gentle, effective ways to:

• heal the emotional impact of bullying
• regain confidence
• feel safe in your own power

move forward without carrying the past with you.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If bullying, past or present, is affecting your confidence, well-being, or work life, you don’t have to face it alone.

Therapy can help you understand what’s happening and change how it affects you.

👉 If you’d like to explore how NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy could support you, feel free to get in touch for a confidential conversation.