Why So Many Women Struggle to Trust After School

Why So Many Women Struggle to Trust After School:-

And How to Begin Healing

Have you ever asked yourself: Why do I find it so hard to trust people?
You’re not alone. So many women carry hidden emotional wounds from school that quietly affect how they relate to others, even years later.

It often starts early. Maybe you were left out of the group chats.
Maybe someone you thought was a friend turned against you.
Maybe you were laughed at when you opened up, or silenced when you tried to speak your truth.

These moments can leave deep marks. And even if school feels like a lifetime ago, the impact can linger. Sometimes, it shows up as:

• Overthinking or people-pleasing
• Doubting your own intuition
• Struggling to open up or trust others
• Feeling “not good enough” — even when you are
• Saying “I’m fine” when deep down, you’re not

And let’s be honest — as women, we’re often expected to “move on” or “just let it go.” But that’s not how healing works.
Your experiences were real. Your feelings were valid. And it’s okay if you’re still carrying some of that pain with you.

The Invisible Backpack

Imagine for a moment that every painful school experience went into a backpack — one you didn’t ask for, but had to carry anyway.

You didn’t get the chance to process it at the time. So the backpack got heavier. And now, without realising it, you might still be carrying it.

This emotional weight can show up in adult life in surprising ways:
You might keep your guard up. Struggle to ask for help. Or never quite feel safe in friendships or relationships, even when there’s no reason not to trust.

But here’s the beautiful truth:
You don’t have to carry it forever.
You get to choose to take the backpack off. You get to choose healing.

A Gentle Self-Reflection: “Laying Down the Backpack”

Here’s a simple, calming exercise to help you begin releasing what no longer belongs to you.

Take a few quiet minutes — somewhere peaceful, just for you.

1. Get comfortable. Sit or lie down and gently close your eyes. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly.
2. Picture your younger self. See her at school — maybe at an age when something painful happened. Notice her face, her posture.
3. Speak to her kindly. You might say:
   “I see you. You didn’t deserve that. You are good, you are kind, and you are enough. I believe you.”
4. Visualise the backpack. Picture her carrying that heavy, invisible bag. Gently lift it from her shoulders.
5. Let it go. Lay the backpack down — perhaps under a tree, beside a river, or into the sea. Watch as it fades away.
6. Notice how she feels. See how much lighter she looks. Notice how you feel.
7. Take a few deep breaths. Inhale strength. Exhale the past.

This is just the beginning. You can return to this practice anytime you feel the weight returning.

You Are Allowed to Heal

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means recognising your pain — and giving yourself the love and compassion you didn’t receive back then.

You don’t have to earn your worthiness. You don’t have to keep proving you’re good enough.
You are good enough. Always were. Always will be.

So if you’re finding it hard to trust… be gentle with yourself.
It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
It means there’s something in you that’s ready to heal.

You’ve carried enough for long enough.
It’s safe to start letting go.
And you don’t have to do it alone.